How to effectively navigate screen time with your children

Screens are everywhere nowadays and navigating this with our children can be difficult at times. It is important that you and your children have a conversation about screen time and agree on certain rules and boundaries for their use. In this blog post I’ll share 8 steps to effectively navigate the use of devices with your children.

1.        Lead by example

Children learn by example, so it's important for parents to model healthy screen habits themselves. Limit your own screen time when you're around your children, and make an effort to engage in alternative activities such as reading, playing games, drawing, spending time outdoors etc.

2.        Not all screen time is bad

It is important to understand that not all screen time is negative. Our children need their devices to do their homework, to research their own interests, to socialise and simply to engage with the digital world.

3.        Show interest and curiosity in your child’s use of screen time

Try and ask your child if you could spend some time with them together when they are using their device in their spare time. Try to learn about the activities they use their devices for. You may find that already their use of screens is quite sensible. Additionally, this can be a great bonding opportunity. Show genuine interest and willingness to learn from them. This is only partly about monitoring and supervising.

4.        Start the conversation

Now that you have a good idea about their use of screen time you can start the conversation. Whenever we want to establish new rules in the family it is important that we have a conversation about it with our children, no matter how old they are. Ask them to join you in a comfortable environment to talk about screen time. Explain your point of view and why you think setting clear rules is necessary. Explain that you want to hear their opinion too as you want the rules to be as fair as possible. If the children feel that their opinion is taken into consideration and they have some say in it, they are more likely to adhere to the rules.

5.        Create screen-free zones and times

Certain areas of the home and times of day should be screen free, such as family meals or at the very least the hour before going to bed. However, flexible rules are best. At times it can be nice to look at photographs during meals or it might be necessary find some information to answer a question or solve a problem.

6.        Set Limits on specific content

As mentioned before – not all screen time is bad screen time. Have a conversation with your child about limiting access to certain apps after a certain amount of time. For example, Social Media is only allowed for X hours after homework has been completed and no more social media after a certain time in the evening. Similar might apply to gaming or else. Familiarise yourself with effective parental controls on devices.

7.        Provide alternative activities

It is often helpful to provide alternative activities when screens are not allowed. This is different for every child. It might be sports, board games, books, comics, playing an instrument, drawing and colouring, building things with Lego, spending time with friends or family etc. By providing alternative options for entertainment, you can help reduce reliance on screens and support creativity.

8.        Basic expectations and screen time as reward

Consider if you’d like to tie screen time to basic behavioural expectations and/or use it as a reward. For example, if they do additional chores in the household they can earn additional screen time, or if other responsibilities are neglected screen time may be reduced. Regarding this point, it is of utmost importance, that you and your child are in agreement about these rules. Professionals are not in agreement regarding screen time as a reward, but it should not be used to calm children down, as this might exacerbate undesirable behaviours. (i.e. if child is angry or upset give them a device to calm them).

Now you have successfully set up the first iteration of screen time rules. Depending on your child’s age it may be a good idea to write these down together and display them somewhere in the family home. Agree that you will try this version for a couple of weeks and let your child know that you are open to receive feedback regarding the rules, if they feel something needs to change. As time passes and they get older, you will have to review these rules anyway. A rule of thumb is for children aged 12 and above 1hr screen time per week per year of life i.e a 12-year-old would be entitled to 12 hrs of screen time per week. They can use this time as and when they like until their screen time budget is used up.  For children aged 6-11 years old 45-60 minutes per day is the recommended limit.

Navigating screen time with your children can be challenging, but with clear, mutually agreed on rules, positive role modelling, and a focus on alternative activities, you can support your children in developing healthy screen habits. Finding the right version of the above and striking the right balance for your family might take some time, so try to be patient and flexible in your approach.

If you would like to discuss any of the above further, please contact me.